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Unlucky Valentine

by Little Gunpowder

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1.
Intro 01:31
We both love the woods we both like long drives I swear I dreamed of you when we were both five we like to get high we like to get drunk I smoke most cigarettes sitting in your trunk You make me mad You're my new fad Even when you kiss me I'll never be glad Your way to relaxed its all on my back I'm way too night to you I cut too much slack You like to avoid I'm not your toy Said I wouldn't fall in love with any more stupid boys
2.
People that love too deep Can’t find a feeling that they can keep Can’t write a love song without the word “me” Can’t fight the crazy When the virus creeps And you are like a rail of spring Take my breath I see stars again And love is the final frontier Sneak up behind it Don’t go too near It’s not much of a reach But every time I’m with you, I lose the will to speak I don’t wanna leak But drugs are my truth serum And you push me to my peak I’m scared for summer to start I’m always up late and singing in cars I’m always laughing and watching the stars If you’re there too I’ll show my cards Maybe we’ll work in fall Summers deceptive the sirens call I’m dissolution and waiting to fall Your face is sunshine I forgot it all It’s not much of a reach But every time I’m with you, I lose the will to speak I don’t wanna leak But drugs are my truth serum And you push me to my peak It’s not much of a reach But every time I’m with you, I lose the will to speak I don’t wanna leak But drugs are my truth serum And you push me to my peak
3.
we are just waiting for the warm pink bath water filling up the room to get to high pulling us up to the ceiling gasping for air one of us is forced to smash a window I want to wind my thumb across your cheek down your jaw I want to put my mouth in the crook of your neck and fall asleep in a 12 hour frozen kiss and I don’t want to wake up until the sun in so high in the sky that the light wakes us up not being able to do these things feels unnatural our long meandering talks feel like spring again every day that I get to be around you for now, I let the water rise around my neck I know that we are two souls who have become tangled in each other’s and I know soon we will have to do something about it
4.
Silk Future 04:48
I’ll stay brave for you I am always on my own and the times that you deliver I’m conveniently not home and I will wait for you when I am drunk and you are scared I am sitting on the sidewalk you can tell that I’m not there and I will cave for you I almost never feel alright so I always say I’m sorry after every single fight and I was made for you I have no feelings left hide so please just take me home cus been crying this whole drive you haven’t seen me for at least two months now for at least this whole car ride and you’re too busy deciding if you want me to see I’m next to you and you can take that sorry and leave it in the shoebox with the playlist that she made you and I’m not putting in the effort to a friendship I never wanted to an ending I never asked for can’t escape from you You are always in my dreams and if my life’s not about yours then I don’t know what it means I will pray for you your ex is worse off than you think if we ever split up I’m sure you’d jump back in and sink I’m not okay with you you’re the apple of my eye but all we do is smoke weed, contemplate suicide I’ll be fake for you tell your friend I’m doing fine pretend we’re both moving to Bmore like we aren’t gonna unwind and you get to keep me without having to have me without me asking questions your love is painful I don’t want it and I don’t want mine ether I printed a picture from before your mind left me before your body followed you can keep that along with all my clarity along with our silk future winters were warmer when I was at school because your car had a heater and I had you now winters are colder and this freedom is new even if that freedom leaves me feeling blue
5.
He left no time to regret Kept his dick wet With his same old safe bet Me and my head high And my tears dry Get on without my guy You went back to what you knew So far removed from all that we went through And I tread a troubled track My odds are stacked I'll go back to black We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to I go back to us I love you much It's not enough You love blow and I love pow And life is like a pipe And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to Black Black Black Black Black Black Black We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to We only said goodbye with words I died a hundred times You go back to her And I go back to black
6.
Dear 00:22
I’m tired of having to work this hard to feel loved I’m a dear who jumped in front of the headlight hoping maybe the driver will rescue me is it so bad to want to be helpless
7.
Clouds so swift Rain won't lift Gate won't close Railings froze Get your mind off of wintertime You ain't goin' nowhere Whoo-ee ride me high Tomorrow's the day My bride's gonna come Oh, oh, are we gonna fly Down in the easy chair Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do I don't care How many letters they sent The morning came and morning went Pack up your money And pick up your tent You ain't goin' nowhere Whoo-ee ride me high Tomorrow's the day My bride's gonna come Oh, oh, are we gonna fly Down in the easy chair Lost inside Adorable illusion and I cannot hide I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do
8.
Night Poem 00:55
sometimes I wish I could let myself express how strongly I feel Not just about you but about everything every drop of my blood is magnetic drawing me out into a metallic sea. my body wants to drown I have an insatiable hunger that blinds me, and I haven’t eaten in a long time I’m afraid if I don’t devour you I will devour myself I want so badly to feel comfort to lie next to you in silence listening to your breath. sometimes at night I have trouble telling if I have already died or not but if I could reach out and feel your pulse I would know that the earth hadn’t been consumed by fire yet I have trouble letting myself truly take you in some moments because my desperation is so distracting but I do know that you are someone special
9.
Philly 02:49
I don’t look like you no more I scratched out your name that was on my door I burnt your old shirts kept your records on my floor I never felt like this before I moved far away from your mother’s house I called you a rat but you’re just a mouse I fired at you but didn’t warn to crouch Just a couple of kids trying to figure it out at the end of the day all i wanted was to feel a little ok at the end of the day all we ever wanted was to feel a little ok I moved to Philly cus I couldn’t process all the things that had happened like my grandmother’s death when you worked on the street where all my secrets were kept where you told me you loved me soon after we met and you’re allowed to break my heart and you didn’t get out without some scars and I know my illness played my part didn’t it always at the end of the day all I wanted was to feel a little ok and at the end of the day all we ever wanted was to feel a little ok and I’m sorry and I’m so sorry I’m so sorry and I’m so sorry at the end of the day all I wanted was to feel a little ok and at the end of the day all we ever wanted was to feel a little ok
10.
Lace 01:40
I wanna hate love but can’t seem to hate you I don’t know why I do the things that I do been hungry so long my ribs showing through But that doesn’t stop me from falling for you... I’ve got burns on my hands and burns on my face They’ll find my corpse dressed in chantilly lace And the love that I have can feel like a waste Have a rose in one hand in the other is mace... I'm a freak I’m a martyr I’m always in danger I’d put screws in my head if I could stop feeling anger The wounds in my chest give me synesthesia Can I hold your hand this wold is getting stranger... down in my bed the white walls are blinding I keep the lights off cus the shadows are haunting I want something bad but it’s not worth dying It’s easy to burn if you enjoy the lighting Lighting...

about

An album recorded through voice memos and long facetimes about broken hearts.

All proceeds of this album go to Trans Women of Color Collective.

credits

released September 25, 2020

Tony Calabrese - Rhythm Guitar, Bass, and Vocals.
Sandy Wilbur - Drums and Lead Guitar
Joni Elfers - Mixing and Mastering.

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Little Gunpowder Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Gasoline girl, scorpion queen, sunlit acidic laser beam.

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